Grief ritual: A grief date with the ocean

Adapted from Camille Barton’s Tending Grief: Embodied Rituals for Holding our Sorrow and Growing Cultures of Care in Community (2024)

• Before you begin, choose a time of the day, and select a destination close to the sea, such as a beach, or a water-front promenade. If you live inland, find a body of water, like a lake, or a river.
• Choose to go alone, or in the company of a trusted friend. Ensure they have the capacity to hold space, and can support you without judgement or desire to minimise your feelings.
• When you are ready, set an intention for the ritual.
• Sit at the water’s edge, on the beach, or on a comfortable surface where you can see the water.
• Breathe calmly and slowly, with long and steady exhales. Place one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly if this feels good.
• Notice the warmth of your hands on your body. Notice the surface beneath you that supports your weight.
• Observe the ebb and flow of the waves, with your eyes, with your ears. Feel the moisture in the air with your skin.
• Pay attention to what arises in you as the waves beckon you to release your feelings.
• Let your grief be heard – let out a moan, a cry, a scream, or hum a tune.
• Notice how the ocean has all the capacity in the world to hold your grief.
• Do this for as long as the ocean feels supportive.
• Close the ritual by sweeping your hands down your body, from your face to your feet. Visualise the energy that needs to be cleared, and let the ocean carry your feelings away.
• Thank yourself (and your friend) for taking the time to tend to your grief.